Recruiting Lords in PoP 2.0+ isn't easy, and it shouldn't be. It is one of the most powerful ways to improve your independent Kingdom and bolster its strength.

Special Intelligence Disclaimer: We're assuming you're independent Sovereign of your kingdom and at war with the faction you want to get a lord of, because otherwise, why are you fighting their lords?

There are three ways to acquire Lords:


1) Random Recruiting

You defeated a hostile kingdom, took all their holdings and defeated all their lords - the small ones too fast for you will be dispatched pretty fast in a dangerous world like Pendor. Certainly faster than in Native. Upon the Kingdom of XYZ was defeated message, the Lords will leave their old dispatched King (who's hiding in shame or hanging somewhere from his neck) and RANDOMLY swear allegiance to any of the remaining Kings - including you. So lots of saving and reloading will finally give you the friend you went out drinking with every time you encountered him as Vassal.


2) Recruiting by Deed of Arms

This way is more demanding, but probably the easiest way to get new Lords. As you fight your enemies, you will undoubtly have plenty of chances to capture hostile Lords. If they are evil people or you simply dislike their face, imprison and ransom them via prisoner dialogue. If you reckon he's a nice guy and you get along with him, let him go free. He will start liking you, and your relations will rise. On top of that, you will get a few honor points out of it too - nice to have for establishing a Knighthood Chapter and making them as cheap as possible. You do this all over until you accumulate enough positive relation with a Lord to ensure that after the capture-penalty you've still got more than +10 relations with him. So better be safe, start when you have 25+ positve relation with a Lord. Defeat him, be lucky and capture him, take him prisoner. Now you talk to him via the prisoner dialogue and accept his oath of fealty - voila! You got another vassal. You´re now able to award him fiefs for a nice relation bonus, or give him troops and generally command him.

Here is the list of positive Relationship titles and the number range

Cooperative +5 to +14
Welcoming +15 to +24
Favorable +25 to +34
Supportive +35 to +44
Friendly +45 to +54
Gracious +55 to +64
Fond +65 to +74
Loyal +75 to +84
Devoted +85 up

3) Recruting by Promise:

The third and probably most demanding part is luring hostile friendly Lords over into your Realm. These Lords generally bring their fiefs along if they join your cause, so be careful whom you use your golden tongue on.


NOTE:

All lords have fiefs, apart from four lords of The Fierdsvain faction.
(Since villages and castles are assigned randomly at the beginning of every game, the names will vary from game to game).

The four lords are for example -

Earl Ari Forkbeard
Lord Dirigun Farsail
Lord Hrothgar the Fat
Lord Olaf Oakshield

So in theory, when you have your own kingdom, these four without a starting fief should be easier (though you will still have to go through the same motions as with the other lords) to recruit if they have not been given a new fief that the Fierdsvain have gained through conquest. If they have, then their acquisition will be the same as the other lords.